THE ROSES

THE ROSES

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Albanyac and his neighbour Sam have just finished watching “The Roses.” They sit on the couch, remote tossed aside, drinks in hand.

ALBANYAC

How’d you liked it?

SAM

I mean I enjoyed it.

ALBANYAC

Same, just… I don’t know. Like what the fuck was this movie about?

SAM

Well, it is about a couple in love and what happens when there’s a shift of power in their relationship.

ALBANYAC

Like with you and wine.

SAM

Nuh, nope. Don’t.

ALBANYAC

Haaaa! So, sensible. Anyway, I did find it funny how “the shift” of power in this movie is nothing more than shift of money, ‘cause it’s not like it changed who they are, it only changed who pays the bills.

SAM

And of course, people gonna say it’s WOKE…

ALBANYAC

Who cares, they say woke about everything these days. But, I mean—he was all pissed off because he fucked up, then had to take care of his own fuckin’ kids. Like, hellooooo. Be glad you’re not poor and your wife is making money. Or why not get a nanny? Or three? They had the money.

SAM

And his wife—it’s not like she was going on vacation and shit, just getting the success she deserved.

ALBANYAC

Well, I’ve seen this happen in real life with people I know, and yeah, I’m gonna blame this on women. Because they don’t mention enough the sacrifices they make in deciding to give up their career and become housewives. And men take this for granted. But also because women feel a bit of guilt that their husband is the only provider, so they kinda allow this.

SAM

But shouldn’t be that hard to understand. It’s like hiring a nanny, a maid, a cook, and a cleaning lady. Calculate that shit and see who “makes” more money.

ALBANYAC

It’s not that it’s not understood. It is forgotten.

SAM

I thought the dialogue was great—and of course the acting, etc.

ALBANYAC

What I said before about wtf is this movie about. Mostly because I feel like there’s no story. They meet, next day they’re married with kids, then they fight, and they die.

SAM

You think they died?

ALBANYAC

Hopefully, so there’s no follow up. Haaaaaa!

SAM

Mean, mean, mean.

ALBANYAC

So stupid though because—man! They have a smart house that could do all that shit, but the only thing it couldn’t do was warn them about a gas leak or stop the fireplace command. HOW! And forget that—spend all that money but didn’t have CO alarms, which by the way aren’t they required by law?

SAM

I was going to say, maybe a Brit wrote this and they don’t require them in the UK—but just looked it up and the same rules apply in the UK as well.

ALBANYAC

Well, they had to die somehow, so…

SAM

Maybe there could’ve been another storm and the house could’ve fallen into the ocean—proving again he was a shitty architect.

ALBANYAC

The producer would’ve said, Great idea. You do that with your own money. HAAAA!

SAM

Ok, but definitely it doesn’t deserve a 3.3 rating.

ALBANYAC

Out of ten?!!!

SAM

Out of five, dude.

ALBANYAC

Oh. Nuh, it does. Love, love Olivia Colman, but 3.3 is well deserved.

SAM

Before we finish, I wanna add something else.

ALBANYAC

Is this about Kate McKinnon?

SAM

Yes! Stop giving her these dumb fucking characters all the time. Same with Andy Samberg. They’re not on SNL anymore. In every movie, they make them do the same dumb dialogue, characters, acting. They’re amazing—but this is just stupid.

ALBANYAC

Yeah, I don’t care.

Allison Janney ate, though. Such a great cast. Still, no story.

SAM

Stop saying that. There was—

ALBANYAC

Nope. We’re done here. Shelve it.

They both burst out laughing as the credits roll silently on the TV.

FADE OUT.